A letter writer to The Blade in his irritation with columnist Amjad Hussain paints with a broad brush: “But citing the misdeeds of a few practitioners of Christianity and Judaism relative to the atrocities committed by entire Muslim nations in the name of Islamic jihad, promoting global terrorism, suicide bombings, execution of nonbelievers, mass murder, and the constant threat of genocide against their Israeli neighbors, pales by comparison”.
Which“entire Muslim nations” have committed atrocities, promoted global terrorism, suicide bombings, execution of non-believers and mass murder in the name of jihad? Groups like the Al-Qaeda and the Taliban have hijacked Islam and can be implicated in the above as well as the gross distortion of the most basic teachings of Islam.
The dispossession of the Palestinians and their continued dehumanization by Israel in flagrant violation of international law as well as the Sabra-Shatila massacres by the American tax-payer financed 5th most powerful military in the world, is more reminiscent of a “threat of genocide” than is vaguely possible by minimally armed Palestinian militia and rock-throwing teenagers.
Should the March 11 gun-rampage by a US serviceman in Afghanistan that killed 16 Afghan civilians be blamed on American hegemony or the result of a disturbed mind?
In a world beset by serious and extremely complicated issues, we are in need of the balance and calm of Dr. Amjad Hussain’s articles. As Americans and practitioners of our personal faiths, we must separate the actions of individuals from the practice of entire nations and especially from the teachings of their religion, that many have possibly studied little or not at all. Dr. Hussain skillfully graphs not just these individual actions but also the way they are perceived and how they can be manipulated, distorted and generalized to tar entire religions.
Our national socio-political conversation should be dispassionate and based on evidence and fact rather than wild, blinkered and baseless imaginings. These just serve to marginalize and inflame and conglomerate to become the problem rather than the solution.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Islamic Center of Greater Toledo Monitor editorial & President's message
Our wonderful religion emphasizes niyyah, good intentions and hard work. And it seems we don’t do too well if both are not present in good proportions. Taking from this premise 2012 insha’Allah will be a year of energy, activity and unity.
The focus shall be on raising membership of the ICGT, reinvigorating the Youth Club, reorganizing the Ladies Auxiliary, having regular events at the Center as well as visitation to the community. And the wonderful news is that many of these aims are well on their way to being fulfilled!
Membership to the Islamic Center is as fundamental as clients are to a business. Many of our community members enjoy the fabulous facilities that the ICGT provides, for it is a birth to death resource. Membership is nominal at $150/person or $300/family and you can pay this in installments as well. We now have new membership boxes, reminiscent of the Star Wars R2-D2 robot, at the entry of the ICGT and in the foyer area upstairs. The form can be filled and deposited with either a check or credit card info into the boxes. A membership form is also included in this edition of The Monitor as an insert.
The Youth Club has been formed and has already had a few meetings and activities. If your over 12-year old child or relative wishes to join they can contact the Youth Club coordinator Faiza Husain at faizahusn@gmail.com They plan to have events like Meeting of the Minds, Spelling Bee, Math Bee, debating competition, Quran tafsir groups, sports, movie night, game night and ice-cream socials.
The Ladies Auxiliary had dissolved in 2011. The President, Mahjabeen Islam, Treasurer S. Saeed Zafer and Council-member Shabana Farooq met with community ladies on January 22, 2012. The meeting was emotional and the ladies raised many issues of the past and fears for the future. Most issues were addressed and we were able to accomplish elections of the officers that very day. Rabha Saie was elected President Ladies Auxiliary, Lisa Alcodray Vice-President, Reema Andrabi Secretary and Faye Sugheir Treasurer.
For far too long our community has been riddled with politics and agendas. Insha’Allah with this New Year and new Council, it is our resolve to work toward healing and unification. To help all of us toward the realization that we are but an Islamic Center, rather than the grandiosity in some minds of engaging in politics and division as though this was a country! To that end visitation to members of the community is planned by a small Visitation Committee consisting of the Imam, the President and a Council or community member. The purpose of this visitation is manifold: to engage the community and inform it of the many programs that are going on in the Center, that an effort is being made to “de-politicize” the Center and accommodate all shades of opinion and to increase membership and donation to the Center.
Regular events are already being held at the ICGT. On January 28, 2012 Mawlid-al-Nabi was held in the Social Hall which was packed with over 250 people. Do view the photos and the program in this Monitor edition. Hamd in praise of God and qaseedas in praise of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were recited in Arabic and Urdu by several wonderful voices. Speeches extolled the life and beauty of Prophet Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) character.
You will want to follow the Visiting Scholars Lecture Series. On February 18th Dr. Mounir Elkhatib will be speaking on “How to use your food as medicine” and on March 24th. renowned North American scholar Dr. Jamal Badawi will be speaking about the Sharia and misconceptions about Islam.
It is my heartfelt appeal for all of us to work for revitalizing the ICGT in an atmosphere of mutual respect and cooperation, keeping the interest of the ICGT and service to Islam as our main focus. Life should not be a spectator sport, but a participatory one. Join us on Fridays, Sundays, and during all events at the ICGT and remember to become a member and give your zakat, sadaqat and donations to the ICGT.
Mahjabeen Islam M.D. is President of the Islamic Center of Greater Toledo. She is an addictionist and family physician in practice in Perrysburg. mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
The focus shall be on raising membership of the ICGT, reinvigorating the Youth Club, reorganizing the Ladies Auxiliary, having regular events at the Center as well as visitation to the community. And the wonderful news is that many of these aims are well on their way to being fulfilled!
Membership to the Islamic Center is as fundamental as clients are to a business. Many of our community members enjoy the fabulous facilities that the ICGT provides, for it is a birth to death resource. Membership is nominal at $150/person or $300/family and you can pay this in installments as well. We now have new membership boxes, reminiscent of the Star Wars R2-D2 robot, at the entry of the ICGT and in the foyer area upstairs. The form can be filled and deposited with either a check or credit card info into the boxes. A membership form is also included in this edition of The Monitor as an insert.
The Youth Club has been formed and has already had a few meetings and activities. If your over 12-year old child or relative wishes to join they can contact the Youth Club coordinator Faiza Husain at faizahusn@gmail.com They plan to have events like Meeting of the Minds, Spelling Bee, Math Bee, debating competition, Quran tafsir groups, sports, movie night, game night and ice-cream socials.
The Ladies Auxiliary had dissolved in 2011. The President, Mahjabeen Islam, Treasurer S. Saeed Zafer and Council-member Shabana Farooq met with community ladies on January 22, 2012. The meeting was emotional and the ladies raised many issues of the past and fears for the future. Most issues were addressed and we were able to accomplish elections of the officers that very day. Rabha Saie was elected President Ladies Auxiliary, Lisa Alcodray Vice-President, Reema Andrabi Secretary and Faye Sugheir Treasurer.
For far too long our community has been riddled with politics and agendas. Insha’Allah with this New Year and new Council, it is our resolve to work toward healing and unification. To help all of us toward the realization that we are but an Islamic Center, rather than the grandiosity in some minds of engaging in politics and division as though this was a country! To that end visitation to members of the community is planned by a small Visitation Committee consisting of the Imam, the President and a Council or community member. The purpose of this visitation is manifold: to engage the community and inform it of the many programs that are going on in the Center, that an effort is being made to “de-politicize” the Center and accommodate all shades of opinion and to increase membership and donation to the Center.
Regular events are already being held at the ICGT. On January 28, 2012 Mawlid-al-Nabi was held in the Social Hall which was packed with over 250 people. Do view the photos and the program in this Monitor edition. Hamd in praise of God and qaseedas in praise of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were recited in Arabic and Urdu by several wonderful voices. Speeches extolled the life and beauty of Prophet Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) character.
You will want to follow the Visiting Scholars Lecture Series. On February 18th Dr. Mounir Elkhatib will be speaking on “How to use your food as medicine” and on March 24th. renowned North American scholar Dr. Jamal Badawi will be speaking about the Sharia and misconceptions about Islam.
It is my heartfelt appeal for all of us to work for revitalizing the ICGT in an atmosphere of mutual respect and cooperation, keeping the interest of the ICGT and service to Islam as our main focus. Life should not be a spectator sport, but a participatory one. Join us on Fridays, Sundays, and during all events at the ICGT and remember to become a member and give your zakat, sadaqat and donations to the ICGT.
Mahjabeen Islam M.D. is President of the Islamic Center of Greater Toledo. She is an addictionist and family physician in practice in Perrysburg. mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
Friday, December 2, 2011
Candidates and closet skeletons
Republicans in America have been raked over the coals these past few months; the clowning on the presidential-hopefuls stage would make even a Democrat cringe.
And the gaffes of the wannabes in the Pakistani paradigm are no different, except that the clowning there seems to include the prominent of all the parties.
Betrayed by Bill Clinton’s private adventures in the White House, America seemed to have gone on overdrive to redefine its moral compass. Fairly elected or not, George W. Bush ruled for eight years with misadventures more grave, numerous and enduring than this article could accommodate. The personal life of any presidential candidate or many a politician for that matter has become as easily examinable as their tax-returns.
In a debate Texas Gov. Rick Perry listed three departments that he would do away with but for the life of him, in the interminable silence of a waiting national audience could not remember the name of the Department of Energy. On another note he thunderously said that the first order of business if he were to become president would be the termination of aid to all other countries. This time, with greater alacrity than the amnesic crisis though, he stuttered “except Israel”. For in the minds of all presidential hopefuls there is no crossing the Israeli lobby.
History can be a pain, but I’d brush up on it if I were aspiring to lead the United States. Republican presidential hopeful Michelle Bachman stated that “The Founding Fathers, men like John Quincy Adams, did not rest till slavery was extinguished in this country”. As a matter of embarrassing fact John Quincy Adams died in 1848; slavery was abolished by the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution after the American Civil War ended in 1865.
Her worst faux-pas, by far, is while commenting on the UK closing its embassy in Iran. She says if she were president she would close the US embassy in Iran as well. The ouch is that the US has not had an embassy since the hostage crisis in Iran in 1980.
But self-named “Harmanator” Cain takes the cake. Again and again. He would not have a Muslim in his cabinet because a Muslim friend that he trusts told him that most American Muslims were extremists. Asked about Libya he said that the Taliban was trying to get a control of the government; unaware that they only roil Afghanistan and Pakistan, only a continent away.
His intense and reflexive prejudice is difficult to digest as he must have ancestors that suffered dehumanizing segregation and whose woeful stories make up legend that communities absorb into their DNA. He encountered oncologist Dr. Abdullah during his prostate cancer treatment and was markedly disturbed at the prospect of being treated by him. Cheerily, the nurse announced that Dr. Abdullah was Christian. Cain was hugely relieved.
However geographically and factually challenged as the Republican hopefuls may be, casting perhaps a much needed eye on the American education system, it is not their gaffes that get people mad; it’s the lies and the denials. Four women have come forth with stories of a sexual nature involving Herman Cain and even though two of them were paid compensation, Cain is adamantly denying the charges. The death-knell to Cain’s campaign though will probably be the 13-year affair that he had with Ginger White right until early November and announcing his candidacy.
Speaking of Whites, leadership fervor in Pakistan is now focused on Imran Khan. No one quite predicted his popularity as displayed in the massive Minar-e-Pakistan rally in Lahore. The PML (N) has been caught most flat-footed and its attempts to diminish Imran Khan end up being entertaining. That people from all over the world are trying to be part of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf has now left the PML(N) primarily and the PPP secondarily, whose indignation is hampered by their steadily slipping hold on power, to mount a character assault. Or an attack on his book, paragraphs of which in a boisterous TV talk show can be easily taken out of context.
Ms. Sita White is in Imran Khan’s past. He did marry a Jewish woman and does have a British politician as a former brother-in-law. He could despise feudalism and be less chauvinistic. And yet one wonders, both in the US and in Pakistan-are the people to elect the Pope for president or the best that the nation has on offer at the current time?
Muslims love to judge one another and that is what politicians prey on. That an overwhelming majority of common-folk in Pakistan are done with Zardari is incontrovertible. That “Zardari” is now a slur in Pakistan speaks for itself. The intoxicating Pakistan’s “Kursi Syndrome”(the ruler’s chair syndrome), that I have written about in the past, inherently involves being killed off or kicked out. It is simultaneously delusional and utopian to imagine a graceful exit for the Zardari-Gilani duo.
Is unprecedented corruption by the Zardari-Gilani clan as well as the not-too-far-behind mega-wealth of the Sharifs more desirable than the past physical indiscretions of Imran Khan? Are we giving our daughter’s hand in marriage to these men or considering their suitability to lead a nation that is at the brink of collapse and endures chaos of numerous hues on a daily basis?
Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich will most likely compete for the Republican nomination. Romney is dogged by flip-flopping on issues and being Mormon. Gingrich though astute will suffer his relationship indiscretions baggage. The candidate that rightfully deserves the nomination is Dr. Ron Paul. But with his take on The Patriotic Act being unpatriotic and similar well thought out but against-the-herd views, the chances of being front-runner are slim to none.
Predicting the future in Pakistan is akin to astrology. Events unfold at lightning speed and change the scene completely. Zulfiqar Mirza credits General Kayani for the continuance of democracy in Pakistan. More than normally boisterous and disorganized, its Pakistani version is still the best for Pakistan. For its continuance it is vital to get out the vote and not just scream in mega meetings. Pakistanis must mature in the democratic process and evaluate the candidates on their leadership credentials and ability to yank Pakistan out of its ever-deepening morass. Not whether they would be good brothers-in-law.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
And the gaffes of the wannabes in the Pakistani paradigm are no different, except that the clowning there seems to include the prominent of all the parties.
Betrayed by Bill Clinton’s private adventures in the White House, America seemed to have gone on overdrive to redefine its moral compass. Fairly elected or not, George W. Bush ruled for eight years with misadventures more grave, numerous and enduring than this article could accommodate. The personal life of any presidential candidate or many a politician for that matter has become as easily examinable as their tax-returns.
In a debate Texas Gov. Rick Perry listed three departments that he would do away with but for the life of him, in the interminable silence of a waiting national audience could not remember the name of the Department of Energy. On another note he thunderously said that the first order of business if he were to become president would be the termination of aid to all other countries. This time, with greater alacrity than the amnesic crisis though, he stuttered “except Israel”. For in the minds of all presidential hopefuls there is no crossing the Israeli lobby.
History can be a pain, but I’d brush up on it if I were aspiring to lead the United States. Republican presidential hopeful Michelle Bachman stated that “The Founding Fathers, men like John Quincy Adams, did not rest till slavery was extinguished in this country”. As a matter of embarrassing fact John Quincy Adams died in 1848; slavery was abolished by the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution after the American Civil War ended in 1865.
Her worst faux-pas, by far, is while commenting on the UK closing its embassy in Iran. She says if she were president she would close the US embassy in Iran as well. The ouch is that the US has not had an embassy since the hostage crisis in Iran in 1980.
But self-named “Harmanator” Cain takes the cake. Again and again. He would not have a Muslim in his cabinet because a Muslim friend that he trusts told him that most American Muslims were extremists. Asked about Libya he said that the Taliban was trying to get a control of the government; unaware that they only roil Afghanistan and Pakistan, only a continent away.
His intense and reflexive prejudice is difficult to digest as he must have ancestors that suffered dehumanizing segregation and whose woeful stories make up legend that communities absorb into their DNA. He encountered oncologist Dr. Abdullah during his prostate cancer treatment and was markedly disturbed at the prospect of being treated by him. Cheerily, the nurse announced that Dr. Abdullah was Christian. Cain was hugely relieved.
However geographically and factually challenged as the Republican hopefuls may be, casting perhaps a much needed eye on the American education system, it is not their gaffes that get people mad; it’s the lies and the denials. Four women have come forth with stories of a sexual nature involving Herman Cain and even though two of them were paid compensation, Cain is adamantly denying the charges. The death-knell to Cain’s campaign though will probably be the 13-year affair that he had with Ginger White right until early November and announcing his candidacy.
Speaking of Whites, leadership fervor in Pakistan is now focused on Imran Khan. No one quite predicted his popularity as displayed in the massive Minar-e-Pakistan rally in Lahore. The PML (N) has been caught most flat-footed and its attempts to diminish Imran Khan end up being entertaining. That people from all over the world are trying to be part of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf has now left the PML(N) primarily and the PPP secondarily, whose indignation is hampered by their steadily slipping hold on power, to mount a character assault. Or an attack on his book, paragraphs of which in a boisterous TV talk show can be easily taken out of context.
Ms. Sita White is in Imran Khan’s past. He did marry a Jewish woman and does have a British politician as a former brother-in-law. He could despise feudalism and be less chauvinistic. And yet one wonders, both in the US and in Pakistan-are the people to elect the Pope for president or the best that the nation has on offer at the current time?
Muslims love to judge one another and that is what politicians prey on. That an overwhelming majority of common-folk in Pakistan are done with Zardari is incontrovertible. That “Zardari” is now a slur in Pakistan speaks for itself. The intoxicating Pakistan’s “Kursi Syndrome”(the ruler’s chair syndrome), that I have written about in the past, inherently involves being killed off or kicked out. It is simultaneously delusional and utopian to imagine a graceful exit for the Zardari-Gilani duo.
Is unprecedented corruption by the Zardari-Gilani clan as well as the not-too-far-behind mega-wealth of the Sharifs more desirable than the past physical indiscretions of Imran Khan? Are we giving our daughter’s hand in marriage to these men or considering their suitability to lead a nation that is at the brink of collapse and endures chaos of numerous hues on a daily basis?
Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich will most likely compete for the Republican nomination. Romney is dogged by flip-flopping on issues and being Mormon. Gingrich though astute will suffer his relationship indiscretions baggage. The candidate that rightfully deserves the nomination is Dr. Ron Paul. But with his take on The Patriotic Act being unpatriotic and similar well thought out but against-the-herd views, the chances of being front-runner are slim to none.
Predicting the future in Pakistan is akin to astrology. Events unfold at lightning speed and change the scene completely. Zulfiqar Mirza credits General Kayani for the continuance of democracy in Pakistan. More than normally boisterous and disorganized, its Pakistani version is still the best for Pakistan. For its continuance it is vital to get out the vote and not just scream in mega meetings. Pakistanis must mature in the democratic process and evaluate the candidates on their leadership credentials and ability to yank Pakistan out of its ever-deepening morass. Not whether they would be good brothers-in-law.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Haunting, bold Bol
A prerequisite before enjoying Bol is an open mind. But even for the lead-lined mind of the zealot, just the sensory input of the film could break a steel-web or two. And staunch liberals might feel whiplashed at times as well.
Director Shoaib Mansoor insists that we talk. All that he brilliantly directs happens rampantly, but Pakistanis know not to talk about it. Our taboo issues are learned as if by rote and almost every issue raised in the film is where angels fear to tread.
The reviews were so wonderful and most films disappoint, for a movie, like life, is really all a matter of expectation. Not Bol. It is amazing that one film could mirror Pakistani society and tackle taboo issues so successfully. The art and savvy of the film is not its plot, for most of it is easy to predict; it is the depth, the dialogue and deep heartache that the lives of the characters create within you that makes you want to see it again so that you can savor what you surely missed the first time around.
While Pakistan is one of the few nations of the world that recognizes transvestites as a third gender, their ridicule is a given. Theirs is a mold that was predominantly created by society and has unfortunately continued to be filled and characterized today the way it was centuries ago. Recognition as a third gender is present in the law, but again like all things in Pakistan the law is useful only when cases of murder and gross usurpation of rights have to be fought in court. Societal bias and ridicule have not changed an iota and this is addressed very successfully in the film. When a child with gender confusion is born in a Pakistani family, hell does break loose. And this is the most heart-rending part of the film. In a single sentence of a single character the concepts of cross-dressing and homosexuality are challenged. Taking umbrage of religion, Pakistanis have stolidly ascribed the issues of cross-dressing and homosexuality to the environment; the film shatters this.
Patriarchy, intimidation and the preferential treatment scooped up by men is shown even in the small touches of the father getting mosquito net protection and the larger portion of food, but no one else, for the rest of the family is all women. Deprivation of education by the father and then ridicule for illiteracy is the typical double standard of numerous households. The practice of palming off endless daughters to any Tom, Dick or Harry and feeling the burden when the bad decision returns in the form of a divorce or undereducated or illiterate girls waiting a lifetime for Prince Charming is painful to see.
Hot-button issues of ethnicity and sectarianism take you on another roller-coaster ride. And Bol is an equal opportunity employer. If you feel embarrassed for the crudeness of Punjabi behavior, don’t despair, for the arrogance and superficial sophistication of Delhi-wallas is pitiable. If Shias are seen to be cultural Muslims, one sees Sunnis as blinded and without perspective.
Human life has little or no value in Pakistan. And Bol is graphic about this. We are more concerned with honor and societal respect than simply “the milk of human kindness”. And we are willing to sacrifice, in the literal sense of the word, a whole heck of a lot for ratings of friends and family. “Loag kya kahein gey” (what will people say) might as well be “kishwar-e-haseen shad bad”(happy be the bounteous realm).
The father’s cronies are unmoved when he says that he will kill his daughter or she will kill him one day. He only grabs their attention when he says that she questions Hadith.
Islam stands up to harsh inquiry and only those that understand a bit more than its basics don’t get hot and bothered by seemingly pointed questions. The logical inquiry of a young mind which is totally on point and is premised on the “dua and dawa” (prayer and medicine/action) concept bother the father endlessly, for his is not blind faith, but a dead one. Islam promotes inquiry and many a verse in the Quran asks you to wonder, challenges you to seek and learn.
That women perpetuate the exploitation of women is also well illustrated in the film. And the harsh and abusive circumstances that many families are living in day in and day out make you count your blessings.
For days Bol haunts you. You talk about it ad infinitum only to realize that everyone is not a fan. “We should make films that give a better image of Pakistan” said a friend. Is an image more important or the reality I asked? But ours is a society steeped in veneers. The veneer of a spotless drawing room but filthy kitchens and filthier bathrooms. Ours is a “sub theek ho jaye ga” society. Colonialism has not left us; we are more concerned about what is thought of us than righting our ills.
“The movie is very stressful” said another. Really? And Pakistan is not? Terrorism and corruption ridden, bursting with an uncontrolled population we should still put our collective head in the proverbial sand and make those movies in which they prance around in the grass singing love songs.
Free will and predetermination are also discussed. And the widespread attitude of receiving without lifting a finger and the raging confusion of submission to God’s will meaning to just be a puppet that perpetually procreates. Ironically this puppet-like submission does not come with an acceptance of God’s will when He showers a household with daughters.
A painfully human and particularly Pakistani trait is sharply shown: to blame a person for the way they look, for their gender and for their sexual orientation.
Shoaib Mansoor’s films are reminiscent of the soul-searching films of Satyajit Ray and Shyam Benegal. And more; they are pointed and courageous and Bol puts you through an emotional vacuum cleaning, if you let it that is. And we must collectively let it; we must talk about these issues rather than cloistering them into a stench.
The theme that the film wants to promote is not understood sufficiently because it comes way late in the movie. All else that it wants to convey it shouts, it screams and it harmonizes in a beautiful but sad symphony.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
Director Shoaib Mansoor insists that we talk. All that he brilliantly directs happens rampantly, but Pakistanis know not to talk about it. Our taboo issues are learned as if by rote and almost every issue raised in the film is where angels fear to tread.
The reviews were so wonderful and most films disappoint, for a movie, like life, is really all a matter of expectation. Not Bol. It is amazing that one film could mirror Pakistani society and tackle taboo issues so successfully. The art and savvy of the film is not its plot, for most of it is easy to predict; it is the depth, the dialogue and deep heartache that the lives of the characters create within you that makes you want to see it again so that you can savor what you surely missed the first time around.
While Pakistan is one of the few nations of the world that recognizes transvestites as a third gender, their ridicule is a given. Theirs is a mold that was predominantly created by society and has unfortunately continued to be filled and characterized today the way it was centuries ago. Recognition as a third gender is present in the law, but again like all things in Pakistan the law is useful only when cases of murder and gross usurpation of rights have to be fought in court. Societal bias and ridicule have not changed an iota and this is addressed very successfully in the film. When a child with gender confusion is born in a Pakistani family, hell does break loose. And this is the most heart-rending part of the film. In a single sentence of a single character the concepts of cross-dressing and homosexuality are challenged. Taking umbrage of religion, Pakistanis have stolidly ascribed the issues of cross-dressing and homosexuality to the environment; the film shatters this.
Patriarchy, intimidation and the preferential treatment scooped up by men is shown even in the small touches of the father getting mosquito net protection and the larger portion of food, but no one else, for the rest of the family is all women. Deprivation of education by the father and then ridicule for illiteracy is the typical double standard of numerous households. The practice of palming off endless daughters to any Tom, Dick or Harry and feeling the burden when the bad decision returns in the form of a divorce or undereducated or illiterate girls waiting a lifetime for Prince Charming is painful to see.
Hot-button issues of ethnicity and sectarianism take you on another roller-coaster ride. And Bol is an equal opportunity employer. If you feel embarrassed for the crudeness of Punjabi behavior, don’t despair, for the arrogance and superficial sophistication of Delhi-wallas is pitiable. If Shias are seen to be cultural Muslims, one sees Sunnis as blinded and without perspective.
Human life has little or no value in Pakistan. And Bol is graphic about this. We are more concerned with honor and societal respect than simply “the milk of human kindness”. And we are willing to sacrifice, in the literal sense of the word, a whole heck of a lot for ratings of friends and family. “Loag kya kahein gey” (what will people say) might as well be “kishwar-e-haseen shad bad”(happy be the bounteous realm).
The father’s cronies are unmoved when he says that he will kill his daughter or she will kill him one day. He only grabs their attention when he says that she questions Hadith.
Islam stands up to harsh inquiry and only those that understand a bit more than its basics don’t get hot and bothered by seemingly pointed questions. The logical inquiry of a young mind which is totally on point and is premised on the “dua and dawa” (prayer and medicine/action) concept bother the father endlessly, for his is not blind faith, but a dead one. Islam promotes inquiry and many a verse in the Quran asks you to wonder, challenges you to seek and learn.
That women perpetuate the exploitation of women is also well illustrated in the film. And the harsh and abusive circumstances that many families are living in day in and day out make you count your blessings.
For days Bol haunts you. You talk about it ad infinitum only to realize that everyone is not a fan. “We should make films that give a better image of Pakistan” said a friend. Is an image more important or the reality I asked? But ours is a society steeped in veneers. The veneer of a spotless drawing room but filthy kitchens and filthier bathrooms. Ours is a “sub theek ho jaye ga” society. Colonialism has not left us; we are more concerned about what is thought of us than righting our ills.
“The movie is very stressful” said another. Really? And Pakistan is not? Terrorism and corruption ridden, bursting with an uncontrolled population we should still put our collective head in the proverbial sand and make those movies in which they prance around in the grass singing love songs.
Free will and predetermination are also discussed. And the widespread attitude of receiving without lifting a finger and the raging confusion of submission to God’s will meaning to just be a puppet that perpetually procreates. Ironically this puppet-like submission does not come with an acceptance of God’s will when He showers a household with daughters.
A painfully human and particularly Pakistani trait is sharply shown: to blame a person for the way they look, for their gender and for their sexual orientation.
Shoaib Mansoor’s films are reminiscent of the soul-searching films of Satyajit Ray and Shyam Benegal. And more; they are pointed and courageous and Bol puts you through an emotional vacuum cleaning, if you let it that is. And we must collectively let it; we must talk about these issues rather than cloistering them into a stench.
The theme that the film wants to promote is not understood sufficiently because it comes way late in the movie. All else that it wants to convey it shouts, it screams and it harmonizes in a beautiful but sad symphony.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The US-Israeli no-win solution
President Obama performed beyond the expectations of his supporters; like a faithful wind-up toy. ‘Tis the season to be afraid of the reach and retribution of the Israeli lobby; after all the presidential election is right around the corner. Jewish writers have pointed out that Theodore Herzl, the founder of Zionism, could not have done better. And like the consummate politician, Obama is counting on public memory to be ultra-short and forget his famous Cairo speech and others of the same content, in which he spoke convincingly of a two-state solution in the Middle East. Maybe he doesn’t expect the world to forget, as long as he’s re-elected, for integrity and justice don’t hold the key to victory; AIPAC, American Israel Public Affairs Committee, does. Obama threatened to veto the bid for Palestinian statehood if it came to the UN Security Council.
America worked feverishly to prevent Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas’ presentation of the statehood bid to the UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon, with threats of aid cuts and more taxes by Israel.
In his speech afterward to the UN General Assembly, Mahmoud Abbas got a hero’s welcome. Repeated applause and wolf-whistles permeated the otherwise formal air, crowned with a standing ovation when he referenced a copy of the statehood bid. The American delegation looked grim and uncomfortable.
After Abbas, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu spoke to an eerily silent hall and called the UN a “theater of the absurd”. The Israeli delegation tried hard to applaud loudly, but had a solo run.
That only the United States, Canada, Israel and Botswana were against and 189 countries for Palestinian statehood, matters little to a self-steeped sole super-power and the always-arrogant Netanyahu.
Obama parroted Netanyahu in demanding that the Palestinians negotiate with Israel instead of going to the UN for a statehood bid. In protesting to him, Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan read back to Obama, Obama’s own address to the UN a year previously in which he spoke of Palestinian statehood.
Negotiations between Israel and Palestine had broken off in 2010 as Jewish settlements had continued. Netanyahu’s demand now is that Israel be recognized by the Palestinians. The fact that in a two-state solution recognition is implicit shows the mala-fide that this is based on.
Mahmoud Abbas got a wonderful welcome on his return to Palestine even though some do not subscribe to the two-state solution and Hamas felt that the 1967 borders were not the acceptable bargaining limits. BDS or Boycott, Divest and Sanctions is a campaign that began in 2005 against Israel’s apartheid. It aims for a one-state solution in which Arab-Palestinian citizens of Israel have full equality, ending of the occupation of all Arab land and dismantling of the Wall, and promoting the return of Palestinian refugees as stipulated in UN Resolution 194.
It is not just the hegemony of Zionism but the steadily changing demographics in Israel that seriously threaten it, that make BDS more of a pipe-dream than ever. ABC’s Ben Knight in an article “Make no mistake, Israel’s existence is under threat” writes of how secular Jews pay taxes, serve in the army and have an average of two children per couple, while the ultra-orthodox don’t pay taxes, don’t defend Israel and have an average of eight children per couple. Ben Knight reports that there are three types of state-funded schools in Israel: regular schools, Arab-Israeli schools and ultra-orthodox religious schools. In 1960, Knight writes, only around 15 per cent of Israeli children were enrolled in religious or Arab schools. That figure is now around 50 per cent. In 30 years, it will be almost 80 per cent. That is a frightening statistic for the nation of Israel, he says.
Additionally, Ben Knight reports that the ultra-orthodox study the Bible all day, every day; no math or science. Funny that the report that some madrassahs in Pakistan do not teach math and science causes the West to go into self-righteous convulsions.
Ben Knight sums it up thus: “if the figures are to be believed, in less than 30 years, Israel will have a population where the majority either can't, or won't join the workforce – putting an increasing, and impossible burden on the secular minority to pay the taxes and serve in the army.” Knight claims that the Palestinian issue aside, “Israel's demographic time bomb is still ticking away.”
However much of a blind eye the Israeli government may have turned to this ticking demographic time bomb, it is entirely impossible that it will entertain a one-state solution.
However divided the opinion maybe regarding the best solution for the Palestinians, this much crystallized in the recent UN General Assembly session. That America’s first black president disrespected the blood, sweat and tears of his people, just sixty years ago, and unleashed apartheid on another. Though isolated, arrogant and blatantly unjust, Israel and its Zionist diaspora hold US presidential hopefuls, congressmen, politicians and the media in a death grip. That the Palestinians don’t get statehood or equal rights within the state of Israel; it is the typical heads I win, tails you lose philosophy.
A nation that was dehumanized by a Christian army in the horrors of the Holocaust, routinely murders and maims with American taxpayer funded Apache helicopters and Caterpillar bulldozers. No one “negotiated” with the Palestinians when they walked into their land and took it as their own. With the pathetic Republican presidential candidates on offer, Obama might win a second term. On the backs of Palestinians, not that he could care.
One day, some day there will be a land for the Palestinians. It takes time and wreaks havoc on the way, but justice like inevitability, surfaces.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
America worked feverishly to prevent Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas’ presentation of the statehood bid to the UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon, with threats of aid cuts and more taxes by Israel.
In his speech afterward to the UN General Assembly, Mahmoud Abbas got a hero’s welcome. Repeated applause and wolf-whistles permeated the otherwise formal air, crowned with a standing ovation when he referenced a copy of the statehood bid. The American delegation looked grim and uncomfortable.
After Abbas, Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu spoke to an eerily silent hall and called the UN a “theater of the absurd”. The Israeli delegation tried hard to applaud loudly, but had a solo run.
That only the United States, Canada, Israel and Botswana were against and 189 countries for Palestinian statehood, matters little to a self-steeped sole super-power and the always-arrogant Netanyahu.
Obama parroted Netanyahu in demanding that the Palestinians negotiate with Israel instead of going to the UN for a statehood bid. In protesting to him, Turkish Prime Minister Erdogan read back to Obama, Obama’s own address to the UN a year previously in which he spoke of Palestinian statehood.
Negotiations between Israel and Palestine had broken off in 2010 as Jewish settlements had continued. Netanyahu’s demand now is that Israel be recognized by the Palestinians. The fact that in a two-state solution recognition is implicit shows the mala-fide that this is based on.
Mahmoud Abbas got a wonderful welcome on his return to Palestine even though some do not subscribe to the two-state solution and Hamas felt that the 1967 borders were not the acceptable bargaining limits. BDS or Boycott, Divest and Sanctions is a campaign that began in 2005 against Israel’s apartheid. It aims for a one-state solution in which Arab-Palestinian citizens of Israel have full equality, ending of the occupation of all Arab land and dismantling of the Wall, and promoting the return of Palestinian refugees as stipulated in UN Resolution 194.
It is not just the hegemony of Zionism but the steadily changing demographics in Israel that seriously threaten it, that make BDS more of a pipe-dream than ever. ABC’s Ben Knight in an article “Make no mistake, Israel’s existence is under threat” writes of how secular Jews pay taxes, serve in the army and have an average of two children per couple, while the ultra-orthodox don’t pay taxes, don’t defend Israel and have an average of eight children per couple. Ben Knight reports that there are three types of state-funded schools in Israel: regular schools, Arab-Israeli schools and ultra-orthodox religious schools. In 1960, Knight writes, only around 15 per cent of Israeli children were enrolled in religious or Arab schools. That figure is now around 50 per cent. In 30 years, it will be almost 80 per cent. That is a frightening statistic for the nation of Israel, he says.
Additionally, Ben Knight reports that the ultra-orthodox study the Bible all day, every day; no math or science. Funny that the report that some madrassahs in Pakistan do not teach math and science causes the West to go into self-righteous convulsions.
Ben Knight sums it up thus: “if the figures are to be believed, in less than 30 years, Israel will have a population where the majority either can't, or won't join the workforce – putting an increasing, and impossible burden on the secular minority to pay the taxes and serve in the army.” Knight claims that the Palestinian issue aside, “Israel's demographic time bomb is still ticking away.”
However much of a blind eye the Israeli government may have turned to this ticking demographic time bomb, it is entirely impossible that it will entertain a one-state solution.
However divided the opinion maybe regarding the best solution for the Palestinians, this much crystallized in the recent UN General Assembly session. That America’s first black president disrespected the blood, sweat and tears of his people, just sixty years ago, and unleashed apartheid on another. Though isolated, arrogant and blatantly unjust, Israel and its Zionist diaspora hold US presidential hopefuls, congressmen, politicians and the media in a death grip. That the Palestinians don’t get statehood or equal rights within the state of Israel; it is the typical heads I win, tails you lose philosophy.
A nation that was dehumanized by a Christian army in the horrors of the Holocaust, routinely murders and maims with American taxpayer funded Apache helicopters and Caterpillar bulldozers. No one “negotiated” with the Palestinians when they walked into their land and took it as their own. With the pathetic Republican presidential candidates on offer, Obama might win a second term. On the backs of Palestinians, not that he could care.
One day, some day there will be a land for the Palestinians. It takes time and wreaks havoc on the way, but justice like inevitability, surfaces.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Owning Quran and the Hereafter
The mania and grandiosity of our politicians have hit heretofore unknown proportions. The power surge that they got from incredible wealth and owning armies of servants was bad enough; they seem to have transcended into the arrogance of owning religion.
Former Sind Home Minister Zulfiqar Mirza does tell-all in and of itself was inflammatory; the repeated placement of the Quran on his head became a show-stopper. In the many anecdotal surveys since, he appears to have achieved his objective in that most people appear to accept the veracity of his claims.
During the press conference however I remember watching the Quran’s repeated trips from tabletop to head with alternating shock and chagrin. While God says in Surah Hashr (59:21): “If We had sent down this Qur'an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and cleaved asunder from fear of Allah. And these examples We present to the people that perhaps they will give thought”, Zulfiqar Mirza, fire in his eyes, would raise it and lower it as though it were just about any old book. So caught up in his invective was he that many a time his left hand would do.
I am certain that it was not the Urdu or English translation that Zulfiqar Mirza was swearing upon but the Glorious Quran itself. God speaks repeatedly of its stature to the extent that in Surah Waqiah (56:77-82) He says: Indeed, it is a Quran, most honorable, in a Book well guarded, which none shall touch but those who are clean, a Revelation from the Lord of the Worlds, is it such a message that you would hold in light esteem?”
And from Zulfi-Leaks it was downhill all the way. After a two-week reprieve MQM’s Altaf Husain presented the “Many moods of Altaf Bhai” video-conference from London. My shock turned to horror as I saw the Quran, carelessly opened, waved in the air, its pages flying about and then plopped on his head despite claims that the Quran is not meant to be sworn on but read. One wonders whether Altaf Husain has read the Quran and how God describes its sanctity in it repeatedly.
The disrespect reached such serious levels that in the same press conference the man broke out into song and simulated dance, with our Holy Book lying in front of him. Does political self-defense make people entirely insane? What is that Urdu saying about drowning oneself in a handful of water? Any person in their right mind watching a replay of that video and seeing themselves behaving so shamefully and disrespectfully with the Quran lying carelessly in front of them should consider cyanide or the closest window.
As far as swearing on the Quran is concerned, scholars liken giving false testimony as one of the major sins in Islam akin to polytheism. This opinion is based on Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stating that “testifying falsely is tantamount to polytheism” and quoting Surah Hajj (22:60) “therefore avoid the uncleanness of the idols and avoid false words” three times to support his statement.
In everything in life there is an initial reluctance, a breaking-in if you will. And after that you’re on oiled wheels as it were. And so it was with Zulfiqar Mirza. In television talk show after talk show, his inevitable companion was the Quran which did its usual head-to-table trips. So consumed was he with this new currency that he first persuaded and then almost physically insisted that the poor talk-show host place the Quran on his own head. If Pakistani cardiologists are not good enough for President Zardari, Zulfiqar Mirza has every rationale for rest, recreation and a psychiatric check at Brompton Hospital in England.
Interior Minister Rehman Malik bore Zulfiqar Mirza’s target practice with fortitude, that much must be said. And yet in all things Pakistani we never really reach rock bottom-the worst is always waiting. In a harried interview with reporters all around him Rehman Malik mightily claimed that he had not ordered the release of a single target killer. And if he had he said “may I not be able to recite the kalma at my death”. Whoa! Bargaining our eternity are we?
It is general Muslim belief, or fear, that faith can be so tenuous and Satan so ever-present that despite a righteous life, at the very end one could die a non-Muslim. Tomes and poems have been written on this fear, however irrational it may appear to the calm and spiritually placid. Belief in the Hereafter is an integral part of being Muslim (Surah Baqarah 2:62). To speak of its compromise with Rehman Malik’s casualness is also a mind jolt.
It has to be the corruption of absolute power. In a nation of mind-boggling poverty BMWs and Mercedes’ are used as official cars. It’s only the ever-widening gulf between the rich and poor in Pakistan and more so between the power-intoxicated politicians and the starving millions that make them look and sound psychotic.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
Former Sind Home Minister Zulfiqar Mirza does tell-all in and of itself was inflammatory; the repeated placement of the Quran on his head became a show-stopper. In the many anecdotal surveys since, he appears to have achieved his objective in that most people appear to accept the veracity of his claims.
During the press conference however I remember watching the Quran’s repeated trips from tabletop to head with alternating shock and chagrin. While God says in Surah Hashr (59:21): “If We had sent down this Qur'an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and cleaved asunder from fear of Allah. And these examples We present to the people that perhaps they will give thought”, Zulfiqar Mirza, fire in his eyes, would raise it and lower it as though it were just about any old book. So caught up in his invective was he that many a time his left hand would do.
I am certain that it was not the Urdu or English translation that Zulfiqar Mirza was swearing upon but the Glorious Quran itself. God speaks repeatedly of its stature to the extent that in Surah Waqiah (56:77-82) He says: Indeed, it is a Quran, most honorable, in a Book well guarded, which none shall touch but those who are clean, a Revelation from the Lord of the Worlds, is it such a message that you would hold in light esteem?”
And from Zulfi-Leaks it was downhill all the way. After a two-week reprieve MQM’s Altaf Husain presented the “Many moods of Altaf Bhai” video-conference from London. My shock turned to horror as I saw the Quran, carelessly opened, waved in the air, its pages flying about and then plopped on his head despite claims that the Quran is not meant to be sworn on but read. One wonders whether Altaf Husain has read the Quran and how God describes its sanctity in it repeatedly.
The disrespect reached such serious levels that in the same press conference the man broke out into song and simulated dance, with our Holy Book lying in front of him. Does political self-defense make people entirely insane? What is that Urdu saying about drowning oneself in a handful of water? Any person in their right mind watching a replay of that video and seeing themselves behaving so shamefully and disrespectfully with the Quran lying carelessly in front of them should consider cyanide or the closest window.
As far as swearing on the Quran is concerned, scholars liken giving false testimony as one of the major sins in Islam akin to polytheism. This opinion is based on Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stating that “testifying falsely is tantamount to polytheism” and quoting Surah Hajj (22:60) “therefore avoid the uncleanness of the idols and avoid false words” three times to support his statement.
In everything in life there is an initial reluctance, a breaking-in if you will. And after that you’re on oiled wheels as it were. And so it was with Zulfiqar Mirza. In television talk show after talk show, his inevitable companion was the Quran which did its usual head-to-table trips. So consumed was he with this new currency that he first persuaded and then almost physically insisted that the poor talk-show host place the Quran on his own head. If Pakistani cardiologists are not good enough for President Zardari, Zulfiqar Mirza has every rationale for rest, recreation and a psychiatric check at Brompton Hospital in England.
Interior Minister Rehman Malik bore Zulfiqar Mirza’s target practice with fortitude, that much must be said. And yet in all things Pakistani we never really reach rock bottom-the worst is always waiting. In a harried interview with reporters all around him Rehman Malik mightily claimed that he had not ordered the release of a single target killer. And if he had he said “may I not be able to recite the kalma at my death”. Whoa! Bargaining our eternity are we?
It is general Muslim belief, or fear, that faith can be so tenuous and Satan so ever-present that despite a righteous life, at the very end one could die a non-Muslim. Tomes and poems have been written on this fear, however irrational it may appear to the calm and spiritually placid. Belief in the Hereafter is an integral part of being Muslim (Surah Baqarah 2:62). To speak of its compromise with Rehman Malik’s casualness is also a mind jolt.
It has to be the corruption of absolute power. In a nation of mind-boggling poverty BMWs and Mercedes’ are used as official cars. It’s only the ever-widening gulf between the rich and poor in Pakistan and more so between the power-intoxicated politicians and the starving millions that make them look and sound psychotic.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Poor parenting and national looting
Reeling from the massive violence across Britain, Prime Minister David Cameron blamed pockets of society that had not only broken down but were “sick” and that “poor parenting” was responsible for the looting.
His diagnosis is painfully accurate; unfortunately the treatment cannot be surgically swift. For children are products of circumstance and training both in turn heavily dependent on economics and religion. And parents today are faced with infinitely greater challenges than their parents and grandparents were.
It was entirely liberating to realize that I was not the only one that grew up with visual discipline; robot-like I lived in fear of imploding as I followed the eye-bulging, frowning, or eye-brow raising of my mother. Essentially all of my generation has been on cruise control! And all my cohorts agree that this visual discipline is now an act of the past.
With parental commands or requests ours was a culture of yes. In families of today a parental request cannot be simple, it must be rationalized and negotiated and the response is also not simple but a debate. And somewhere along the way the hierarchy in the family unit has been lost. For reasons unclear to me the youth of today has tilted the balance of power in its favor, and bewildered parents struggle with varying grades of rebellion. How are robots supposed to deal with temper tantrums? Or with children demanding apologies from parents, or threatening to call the authorities with tales of abuse?
The Ten Commandments urge believers to “honor thy parents”. In Islam disobedience to parents falls in the category of a major sin, just under shirk or associating anyone with God and akin to murder and adultery.
The family is the basic structural unit of society and its cohesion and well-being is vital to society’s benefit at large. The violence in Britain has strong economic reasons as well: the deprivation of a particular segment of society has simmered for a long time and has now reached an explosive point.
The video footage of the looting really does tell the story of societal breakdown. One sees an injured youth bleeding profusely and two other young men coming to his aid. And as they purportedly help him they steal his wallet and other items from his backpack. Endless stories of shops emptied out and videos of gleeful youth parading the loot are shocking.
While poverty can be a game-changer, we are generally ambassadors of our families. And as far as looting goes we either saw our parents do it or did not listen to them when they tried to teach us good moral values. The plunder of Pakistan’s exchequer falls under the same premise-familial looting or personal failure.
Various methods are used to teach integrity and I remember a heart-warming story as a child that was repeated on many an occasion. Shaikh Abdul Qadir Jilani was leaving home and was given a vest lined with gold coins by his mother with the express advice to tell the truth under any and all circumstance. Sure enough he was held up by robbers and when asked about money duly reported the gold coins. Shocked by his candor the robbers spared his life and his coins.
Preserving the family unit and imbuing good moral values is heavily dependent on creation and maintenance of the hierarchy within the family. While Islam promotes shoora (consultation), democracy is a great idea and discussion is vital to the healthy resolution of issues, parents must be treated as parents and not buddies or worse, servants.
Whatever the packaging the bond of love between parents, especially mothers, and children cannot be negated. God takes the name Al-Rahman (The Beneficent) from rahm or the mother’s womb, underscoring the love that a mother feels so naturally for her child. There is a slow but steady erosion of this premise among Muslim families especially when points of contention or issues of discipline arise. The growing tendency to tie actions or history to this love makes discipline very problematic. For all the parent is trying to practice is the concept of “tough love” to institute sanity in chaos.
And where one wonders is the kind of love that Owais Qarni, one of the Prophet’s (PBUH) companion’s, felt for his mother? She asked him for water but by the time he got it she fell asleep; he stood by her bedside all night in case she awoke looking for it again. His treatment is the ultimate; the Quran recommends the basic in Al Isra (17:23) “Your Lord has decreed good treatment to parents, whether one or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them any word of contempt or repel them and address them in kind words”
Society cannot count on the chance that parents and children will get along. The larger onus, at least in Muslim societies lies with children and understanding the very distinct orders laid down in Islam. Regardless of the age of parents or the child, irrespective of the education of the parents, mindless of the wealth of the parents or the lack thereof, at the end of every issue parents enjoy a higher stature and must be obeyed.
The Imam of my mosque said it well: included in sabr-fi-ta’a (patience in religious practice) is patience with parents and remembering that after worshipping God is the treatment of parents.
If we want to avoid societal failure as seen in London then the current trend of contempt toward and equality with parents must stop and change to a culture of cohesion, an attitude of yes and a posture of humility.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
His diagnosis is painfully accurate; unfortunately the treatment cannot be surgically swift. For children are products of circumstance and training both in turn heavily dependent on economics and religion. And parents today are faced with infinitely greater challenges than their parents and grandparents were.
It was entirely liberating to realize that I was not the only one that grew up with visual discipline; robot-like I lived in fear of imploding as I followed the eye-bulging, frowning, or eye-brow raising of my mother. Essentially all of my generation has been on cruise control! And all my cohorts agree that this visual discipline is now an act of the past.
With parental commands or requests ours was a culture of yes. In families of today a parental request cannot be simple, it must be rationalized and negotiated and the response is also not simple but a debate. And somewhere along the way the hierarchy in the family unit has been lost. For reasons unclear to me the youth of today has tilted the balance of power in its favor, and bewildered parents struggle with varying grades of rebellion. How are robots supposed to deal with temper tantrums? Or with children demanding apologies from parents, or threatening to call the authorities with tales of abuse?
The Ten Commandments urge believers to “honor thy parents”. In Islam disobedience to parents falls in the category of a major sin, just under shirk or associating anyone with God and akin to murder and adultery.
The family is the basic structural unit of society and its cohesion and well-being is vital to society’s benefit at large. The violence in Britain has strong economic reasons as well: the deprivation of a particular segment of society has simmered for a long time and has now reached an explosive point.
The video footage of the looting really does tell the story of societal breakdown. One sees an injured youth bleeding profusely and two other young men coming to his aid. And as they purportedly help him they steal his wallet and other items from his backpack. Endless stories of shops emptied out and videos of gleeful youth parading the loot are shocking.
While poverty can be a game-changer, we are generally ambassadors of our families. And as far as looting goes we either saw our parents do it or did not listen to them when they tried to teach us good moral values. The plunder of Pakistan’s exchequer falls under the same premise-familial looting or personal failure.
Various methods are used to teach integrity and I remember a heart-warming story as a child that was repeated on many an occasion. Shaikh Abdul Qadir Jilani was leaving home and was given a vest lined with gold coins by his mother with the express advice to tell the truth under any and all circumstance. Sure enough he was held up by robbers and when asked about money duly reported the gold coins. Shocked by his candor the robbers spared his life and his coins.
Preserving the family unit and imbuing good moral values is heavily dependent on creation and maintenance of the hierarchy within the family. While Islam promotes shoora (consultation), democracy is a great idea and discussion is vital to the healthy resolution of issues, parents must be treated as parents and not buddies or worse, servants.
Whatever the packaging the bond of love between parents, especially mothers, and children cannot be negated. God takes the name Al-Rahman (The Beneficent) from rahm or the mother’s womb, underscoring the love that a mother feels so naturally for her child. There is a slow but steady erosion of this premise among Muslim families especially when points of contention or issues of discipline arise. The growing tendency to tie actions or history to this love makes discipline very problematic. For all the parent is trying to practice is the concept of “tough love” to institute sanity in chaos.
And where one wonders is the kind of love that Owais Qarni, one of the Prophet’s (PBUH) companion’s, felt for his mother? She asked him for water but by the time he got it she fell asleep; he stood by her bedside all night in case she awoke looking for it again. His treatment is the ultimate; the Quran recommends the basic in Al Isra (17:23) “Your Lord has decreed good treatment to parents, whether one or both of them reach old age with you, say not to them any word of contempt or repel them and address them in kind words”
Society cannot count on the chance that parents and children will get along. The larger onus, at least in Muslim societies lies with children and understanding the very distinct orders laid down in Islam. Regardless of the age of parents or the child, irrespective of the education of the parents, mindless of the wealth of the parents or the lack thereof, at the end of every issue parents enjoy a higher stature and must be obeyed.
The Imam of my mosque said it well: included in sabr-fi-ta’a (patience in religious practice) is patience with parents and remembering that after worshipping God is the treatment of parents.
If we want to avoid societal failure as seen in London then the current trend of contempt toward and equality with parents must stop and change to a culture of cohesion, an attitude of yes and a posture of humility.
Mahjabeen Islam is an addictionist, family physician and columnist. She can be reached at mahjabeen.islam@gmail.com
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